Smile Like You Mean It
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: SP. Jam. SS. A bit of all three really! Some Stuart bashing along the way! Please review! Vikki xxx.


**Smile Like You Mean It**

Summary: SP. Jam. SS. A bit of all three really! Some Stuart bashing along the way!  
The song is 'Any Other World' by Mika.  
This fic is for Abi, for trying to convert me to Jam! xx.  
Please review! Vikki xx.  
P.S I changed my penname. It'll only make sense if you watch NCIS!

* * *

_In any other world_

_You could tell the difference_

_And let it all unfurl_

_Into broken remenance._

As the sun rose higher in the sky on that late March morning, DS Samantha Nixon looked up from her paperwork and caught sight of DC Jo Masters across the room. The sun set the copper tones of her hair on fire and it glowed in the natural light. For a moment Sam was transfixed and stood still. Wondering what was wrong with her, she shook her head to clear it and turned her attention back to the pile of witness statements she had been working through. Across the room, Jo pretended not to have noticed Sam staring at her. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she was just scared of how it made her feel. She didn't want to feel this way about Sam. She was her colleague and she was also one of her closest friends. They may not have got off to the best of starts but they had a strong friendship and Jo didn't want to ruin that.

_Smile like you mean it_

_And let yourself let go_

_Cos all of it's in the hands_

_Of a bitter bitter man_

Stuart Turner pushed open the doors to the CID offices with a smug look on his face. He headed to Sam's desk, perching on the edge of it. Sam was less than impressed. Having an inter-office relationship seemed to have more downsides that upsides. Or maybe that was just because of the type of man Stuart was. He gave Sam stability and security which was what she needed right now. But was it what she wanted. She thought of Phil Hunter, life with him would never be stable but at least it would be interesting and never dull. She had chosen stability with Stuart over fun with Phil and she had to stick to her decision. As she looked up to look at Stuart she caught sight of Jo again. Her feet propped up on the desk and a smile on her face as she spoke into the phone. It was probably Tess that she was talking to. For some reason completely unknown to her Sam felt a pang of something. It couldn't be jealousy? Could it?

_Say goodbye to the world _

_You thought you lived in_

_Take a bow_

_Play the part_

_Of a lonely lonely heart_

_Say goodbye to the world_

_You thought you lived in_

_To the world you thought you lived in._

Sam wasn't concentrating on anything Stuart was talking to her about, or rather bragging about. It didn't impress her and at the moment it was making her more frustrated with him which was making her more angry with herself. Everyday she regretted her decision to be with him but she knew the same would be true if she had chosen to be with Phil. It was a lose-lose situation all round. She was in her forties now and she was meant to be settled with someone she loved. Maybe someone she liked would be an upside.

_I tried to live alone_

_But lonely is so lonely_

_So human as I am_

_I had to give up my defences_

Sam tried to tell herself that being with Stuart was better than being alone but she wasn't so sure anymore. She wanted to be with someone who's company she enjoyed but she just saw too much of Stuart. She had thought about applying for a transfer but too many things were holding her here; too many people were stopping her from leaving without even knowing it.

_So I smile and try to mean it  
To make myself let go_

_Cos it's all in the hands  
Of a bitter bitter man_

"And I love you." Stuart finished, standing up from his position on the edge of her desk. Sam smiled weakly, noticing that he had said it loud enough for the whole room to hear him, Phil and Jo included. She didn't reply though and let him head back to his own desk.

"Sam, Jo." The DI called. "You need to get down to the Cole Lane Estate, there's been a stabbing."

They logged off their computers and headed through the doors. There was a slight tension between them and Jo picked on this first.

"You okay Sam?" She asked.

"Huh?" Sam asked, she hadn't been paying attention at all. "I'm fine, thanks Jo."

Jo wasn't convinced. She wanted to press her further and ask if it was anything to do with Stuart but she didn't. The job had to come first.

_Say goodbye to the world _

_You thought you lived in_

_Take a bow_

_Play the part_

_Of a lonely lonely heart_

_Say goodbye to the world_

_You thought you lived in_

_To the world you thought you lived in._

"I'll go to St Hughes with the victim." PC Diane Noble offered at the scene of the crime. Sam and Jo agreed and told her that they would follow in the car.

There was still tension in the air and the silence between them seemed to intensify as Sam wound her way through the traffic on the way to St Hughes. This could all be pushed aside when they interview the victim but the time they spent together waiting for his condition to be stabilised was awkward.

"Sam, there's something bothering you, I can sense it." Jo finally said, laying down the magazine she had been reading. "Why won't you talk to me about it? We're friends aren't we?"

Sam nodded slowly. "But there's nothing up Jo, everything is fine."

Jo Masters wasn't a detective for nothing, she knew Sam was lying to her but couldn't work out why.

_Cos it's all in the hands_

_Of a bitter bitter man  
Say goodbye to the world _

_You thought you lived in_

_Take a bow_

_Play the part_

_Of a lonely lonely heart_

_Say goodbye to the world_

_You thought you lived in_

_To the world you thought you lived in._

"Let me buy you a drink tonight." Jo said when they were back at the station and packing up for the day. "we've haven't been out for ages."

It was tempting and Sam was seriously considering it. She was about to agree when Stuart walked into the room. He walked over to them and kissed Sam on the cheek.

"I'm taking you out to dinner tonight." Stuart told her rather than asking. He smirked and walked over to his desk to turn off his computer and pick up his coat.

Sam looked from one of them to the other. Stuart or Jo? Her boyfriend or her best friend? The man she was supposed to love or the woman she could never let herself love. She opened her mouth to speak but her mouth was dry and the words died before they came out. She looked up and saw Phil enter the room. Their eyes met and she felt a familiar feeling deep inside. It suddenly became clear. Jo was her best friend and Stuart was her boyfriend but it was Phil who she really loved.

_In any other world_

_You could tell the difference._


End file.
